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| Noam Chomsky loves you. |
the piper's calling you to join him
It Takes All Kinds
There was certainly enough collective imagination to go around, at least until the gatekeepers could beat it back a bit. And it took a horrible beating from a variety of weapons.
Noam Chomsky calmly explained that people spend 10 or 15 minutes on the internet and think they know all about physics.
Michio Kaku erupted, in a fit of rage brought on by the realization that he was being interviewed by a conspiracy theorist, "Of course the towers fell straight down! They were empty!" It certainly takes all kinds.
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| Michio Kaku loves you. |
An Amazing Contribution to Human Knowledge
We are truly fortunate to have so many scientists and other academics, famous and anonymous, working so hard to help us keep our crazy thoughts straight, and Michio Kaku's role in this regard has been generally overlooked.
But I should tell you how much his amazing contribution to human knowledge has meant to my family. Ever since we heard his insightful analysis, we have never all left the house at the same time. By making sure that somebody is always here, we've tried to prevent our home from collapsing due to emptiness. And we're thrilled beyond measure at how well it has worked out.
Expect Nothing Less
But then again, we should have expected nothing less, given Michio Kaku's world-famous expertise in theoretical physics. [1]
I find it impossible to imagine how anyone could have known that an empty building would fall straight down, absent the solid background in construction and design techniques which only a comprehensive study of black holes and quasars can provide. [2]
But of course Michio Kaku's knowledge of law and international relations must have helped, at least a little bit. Similarly, Noam Chomsky's background in linguistics certainly gives him full command of the world of physics, even without 10 or 15 minutes on the internet. Most people don't realize how smart Noam Chomsky is or how lucky we are that he has lived such a long and productive life.
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| Alexander Cockburn loved you. |
Hateful Vitriolic Screeds
While we're thanking our thought-influencers for all their help in keeping our crazy thoughts straight, we can't forgot how unfortunate it would have been if any allegedly dissident figures (such as Alexander Cockburn) had written hateful, vitriolic screeds denouncing people who knew much more than they did, for two reasons.
First, it might have reflected somewhat badly on them and on the allegedly dissident allegedly alternative media which they claimed to represent. In that sense, we are very fortunate that they simply expressed their disagreement in friendly terms and refrained from any personal attacks, since the fallout from any disgraceful conduct on their part could have been a shade inconvenient.
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| Robert Parry loved you. |
Whiny Little Jerks
Maybe even more importantly, those whiny little jerks were annoying enough with their banners and their signs; we didn't need any calm and mature thinkers telling them how worthless they were, how confused they'd become, or how their irrational behavior reflected on their parents or their patriotism.
We certainly didn't need anyone to tell them they were showing despicable traces of anti-Semitism. And that was even before any of our cleverest gatekeeping wordsmiths could have got themselves rolling.
By the time they'd finally finished, most of their readers would have been asleep anyway. So we're lucky that no one, especially Robert Parry, felt compelled to expose his ignorance and arrogance in such an obvious and repulsive manner.
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| Christopher Hitchens loved you. |
Good Answers
The wise and wonderful Christopher Hitchens held such a powerful command over the English language that he could toss a five-star word salad while three sheets to the wind. And that's how he made his living.
His rapid-fire put-downs thrilled his stupid little fan-childs to such an extent that they coined a new term: "Hitch-Slap". Once they had a name for it, they began to recognize other instances when Hitch had Slapped, and they cheered for their drunken idol whenever he slapped, even if, as often happened, his slapping made no sense. For example, in a Q-and-A session, when some clown in the audience asked,
What possible reason could al-Qaeda have had for sending anthrax to George Bush's most powerful political opponents?The sodden wordsmith responded with the obvious answer:
I don't have time for people like you!And the stupid little fan-childs cheered as if their drunken idol had said something non-despicable.
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| Christopher Hitchens loved you. |
So Very Ill of the Dead
The drunken fool further trashed his so-called "credibility" by claiming that Iraq had been producing weapons of mass destruction, and that this was proven by the fact that a centrifuge had been found buried in the garden of the Iraqi Defense Minister.
This made no sense because surely the centrifuge wasn't producing very much enriched uranium while spinning underground. But the stupid little fan-childs cheered again, as if millions of innocent Iraqis deserved to die because of this odd and irrelevant finding.
It may seem a bit unseemly for some internet clown to speak so very ill of the dead, especially a dead drunken salad-meister who was idolized by so many stupid little fan-childs.
But the clown was saying the same thing about the drunken idol while he was alive, so nothing much has changed, except that there's a bit less word salad flying around. And for those of us who still enjoy thinking, it's always good to reduce the noise level.
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| Elvis Costello's "Armed Forces" |
Elvis Is Dead
It warmed our frozen hearts when Elvis Costello, whose brilliant anti-war rock masterpiece "Armed Forces" kept so many of us sane in the late 1970s and early 80s, embraced the insanity so enthusiastically that many of his formerly punkish anti-war fans quit their menial jobs and joined the military!
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| The great anti-war iconoclast, Elvis Costello, celebrates the 60th birthday of a blood-soaked bitch, but he loves you more than he can sing. |
The gnarly English iconoclast cemented his reputation as a champion of peace and not shipbuilding [3] by performing at the 60th birthday party of the blood-soaked bitch who would later capture the support of the allegedly Democratic alleged opposition and virtually guarantee the ascension if not outright coronation of the madman with the orange hair.
Really, folks! Everything's fine over here in the dark! [4]
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| Pat Curley loves you. |
Loose Screws All Over The Place
Pat Curley provided an exception to the usual rule, with his smartly named blog "Screw Loose Change". "SLC", as the blog was known, was dedicated to proving all the "Troofers" wrong on every point, but not by shutting them out, as do so many other commendable free-speech-supporting blogs.
Instead, SLC invited questions from Troofers. Comments were not moderated. Questions were posted immediately.
And they were answered immediately, too, by an army of gaslighting counter-attackers. For instance, a frozen clown dared to ask
How can any military officer claim that the war games and military exercises running on 9/11 did not impede, but on the contrary, enhanced, the Air Force's ability to respond to the hijackings?The response was not only quick but also double-edged. On one hand,
You have no proof that the exercises impeded the Air Force in any way.and on the other:
The fact that the exercises were happening on the same day as the attacks could not possibly be considered evidence of a conspiracy because military exercises are always scheduled by low-ranking officers.It was a spirited debate by no rational estimate. But there were no rational estimators around anyway.
And any clown who decided not to engage in this sort of foolishness was deemed to have been "defeated".
It's no wonder that Pat Curley holds a special place in the pantheon of the Terror Warriors.
Bloggers and Blog Admins
While we're toasting our gatekeepers, we mustn't forget all the bloggers and blog administrators who made sure that no difficult questions were ever raised on their free-speech-supporting blogs, which after all serve as our best defense against government suppression by allowing an unrestricted flow of information.
We will never know how fortunate we are that the unpaid public servants running "important" "left-leaning" websites such as Crooks & Liars were quick to realize that so-called "simple questions about the official story" were actually outrageous smears and unfounded slanders against the victims and their families, albeit in thin disguise.
Steadfast Guardians of Free Speech
Wasn't it obvious that the families had suffered enough? Only a demented nut would insist on tormenting them further by posting photos of the crash site in Shanksville and asking "Where's the plane?"
We often forget to be grateful for the steadfast guardians of free speech who made sure that nothing of the sort ever happened at any reputable website.
And of course we were also lucky that this tended to make the non-reputable websites stand out from the rest, which was perfect because it allowed them to be easily ostracized so that they couldn't corrupt the youth of our great nation.
All the Various Infiltrated Dissident Groups
In addition to keeping uncomfortable questions from being posted in places where people could read them, it was important (maybe even crucial) to keep the various dissident groups from working together.
The various dissident groups were too numerous to count: Some people were concerned about the disappearance of what we once called election integrity. Some were concerned about the disappearance of what we once called civil rights. Some were upset about the continuing destruction of the environment for coporate financial gain. Some were upset about how much money was disappearing from the federal treasury and especially alarmed at the rate at which this was happening. And of course some were very angry about all the foreign wars in which our brave soldiers were being killed and wounded, especially when they saw how flimsy were the pretexts which provided the alleged justifications for these wars.
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| Webster Tarpley made a bold and foolish move.
|
Divided and Conquered, as if by Magic
Nobody was concerned about the foreigners who were being killed and maimed for no good reason, but then again why would they be concerned about something like that? We have plenty of important things to think about, don't we?
And of course some people (clowns, mostly) were still under the impression that we hadn't exactly heard the whole truth about 9/11, and they figured that 9/11 was the core issue because it was used as a pretext to justify all the wars, and the erosion of our former civil liberties, and the disappearance of the all the money, and so on.
Some of these clowns thought that if the truth of 9/11 were made apparent, all these variously dissident groups could start pulling together for a change and create some serious political pressure.
Not all the clowns thought this, of course. One clown in particular, who had been frozen out of an "election integrity" blog for writing about 9/11 in clear and irrefutable terms, had serious doubts as to whether these groups could be brought together at all, especially around 9/11.
He had just written a twisted piece about the issue, predictably enough called "Throw Up And Go To Sleep: Why There Are No Paranoid Lunatic Conspiracy Theorists." [5] This post explained so little, and did it so poorly, that those readers who understood it found it very confusing, while those who didn't understand it were sure they had caught every nuance. [6]
Having just started down a very demented path with such a bizarre post, he was paying close attention when Webster Tarpley made a very bold and extremely foolish move.
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| Cindy Sheehan leverages John Lennon. She loves Anti-War but not 9/11 Truth. |
The Magical Vanishing Leadership
The results were disastrous for all concerned, with the exception of a few very frozen clowns who stood back and watched in amazement. They didn't even have to buy a ticket for the "demolition derby" which was about to happen. (For too many gory details, start with: "Echoes of Kennebunkport" at the clown's main site.)
To be generous, the "leaders" of the "9/11 Truth" side showed themselves as incompetent over-reaching fools. Despite all their big words and fast talk, they could never document the claims they were making and didn't even bother to clarify their position even after repeated requests from a frozen clown who was trying to help them.
Meanwhile, the "leaders" of the "anti-war" side showed themselves as even more incompetent and extremely frightened, not to mention thoroughly controlled by dark forces of enlightment suggestive of COINTELPRO. And that's a generous assessment, too.
Even some non-leaders on the "9/11 Truth" side popped their heads above the parapets long enough to display their agenda, which was to subvert 9/11 Truth seekers at every possible opportunity. It was just what you'd expect from a "9/11 Truth activist" in a world where upside-down is the norm.
Peaceful Aspirations Must Be Thwarted
The whole complex sequence of events left Anti-War and 9/11 Truth more distant than ever, which was extremely fortunate from the national security point of view.
It also gave the frozen clown new insights into the democratic mechanisms by which the peaceful aspirations of the people are thwarted by the democratic institutions which were designed to protect them.
And of course, from the democratic point of view, the peaceful aspirations of the people must be thwarted because the people are not smart enough to make correct decisions unless they are continually fed lies disguised as "news".
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| "Former diplomat" Ann Wright helped to keep
Anti-War and 9/11 Truth separate. |
Forming Correct Opinions
Only when they are deceived can they form correct opinions. And without correct opinions, they cannot fully support the hidden agendas of the great leaders who were not actually elected, but who demand national unity as a precondition of their leadership.
We wouldn't want the hopeless losers to fail because then they would go back inside their hollow mountains and we would never see their smiling faces again.
So all in all, it was a good thing that the various "dissident" movements were never allowed to do the "natural" thing, which would have been to join forces and share resources in the struggle against the tyrannical government which was growing larger and more frightening by the day.
Instead they all went back to their separate corners, which may as well have contained mattresses and pillows, and the Imperial War Machine continued on its merry way.
Send In That Clown Again
Of course the frozen clown had been writing all about it, engendering intense apathy in some quarters and lukewarm resentment in others.
Fortunately it also brought him into contact with one honorable individual. Her name was Laurie Dobson, and she had watched the morbid drama unfold from her back porch.
Having offered her farm as a base on which the various infiltrated groups could meet and spend the weekend being dissident, she watched as small clusters of casual-looking people straggled in all day on Friday, more or less as she had expected.
But in the evening, strangers in fancy suits arrived and assumed leadership roles, entirely unbidden but thoroughly unopposed. The suits organized the dissidents into incoherent mush ... and vanished!
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| Laurie Dobson hates you. |
"What just happened here?"
"What just happened here?" Laurie wondered, and she started looking around the net to see whether anyone else had noticed that something very strange was going on.
She found one person who had not only noticed but was busy writing about it, and of course it was a frozen clown. But Laurie didn't know he was a clown yet, and in fact she had no idea that he was frozen, so she contacted him and they exchanged some very interesting information.
In particular, she told him what had happened on Friday night at her farm, and then he told her what had happened on Friday night at her farm.
At that point, Laurie got so fed up, she said,
"All right! That's enough! I'm running for Senate!"
The Next Senator From Maine?
Thus Laurie Dobson became an independent candidate for the U.S. Senate. The clown helped to set up her website and he helped to craft her platform, too. The platform included a plank denouncing not only the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, but also the very idea that America's proper place in the world is to be at war!
Of course Laurie Dobson got trounced! Her plaform resonated so clearly with the voters that she couldn't be allowed any publicity, nor could she be given any support by either branch of the War Party.
But that was only to be expected, given the danger she posed to such time-honored institutions as the brand-new War on Terror, and to such honorable men as George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Oliver North, George H. W. Bush, and so on. On and on and on and on, to tell you the truth. An awful lot of honorable men. And a few honorable women, too.
Enemy Hands
It's likely that you don't know anything about this, by which I mean that prior to reading about the "Kennebunkport Warning" Fiasco you knew nothing about it, and that after reading about it, you still know nothing about it. [7] This is very good if it's true, and the same goes for the planning that wasn't being done by the Patriotic COG Planners.
As Abe Lincoln would say, "It is altogether fitting and proper" that you shouldn't know anything about it. And that's because if you knew about it, you would tell two people, and those two people would tell four people, those four people would tell ... um ... more than four people, and .. and ... and eventually so many people would know about it that it would no longer be a secret.
And of course the whole point of the secrecy behind the planning is to keep the planning secret, which means that no information about it must fall into enemy hands. And of course by "enemy hands", the Patriotic COG Planners mean those fleshy and bony bits that are connected to your fingers and your arms.
So it's all good, as long as nobody knows anything, and that's my main contribution, to be honest. I don't know anything. I'm passing my knowledge on to you so that you won't know anything either. And I hope you will pass it on, and so on. And on and on.
The Most Providential Maneuver of All
Despite all the wonderful gatekeeping activities I've been describing, and in addition to all the other wonderful gatekeeping activities that I couldn't tell you about, even if I couldn't remember them, the most providential and least appreciated gatekeeping maneuver of all occurred on the evening of 9/11 itself, even before the non-toxic dust had begun to settle in the lungs of the lucky volunteers who were soon to be busy dismantling the scene of the uninvestigated crime.
On that lovely evening, when most of the country was still in shock, Bush administration officials, in the firm but gentle manner for which they were becoming known and loved, summoned representatives of all the major networks (plus Fox and CNN) and told them that effective immediately, they would not report a single word or show a single image which had not been approved by the White House. [8]
This preemptive move had the effect of ensuring that all subsequent news coverage would be identical, and identical news coverage was crucial to create the important national unity so keenly desired by President Bush, who ironically ranks as one of the most noble and least divisive Commanders-in-Chief we've ever had the privilege of serving.
Bolstering Freedom of the Press
The very smart preemptive strike on divisive media was augmented by a similar measure which applied to all the local television stations in NYC. It was similar but not identical because rather than being required to vet all their reports before they could be aired, the news departments of the local TV stations were simply shut down.
In addition to the obvious, bolstering freedom of the press, which as we all know is vital to America's status as the greatest democracy ever imagined, shutting down the local news departments allowed the people of the stricken city to experience the event in the same way as Americans all over the country were experiencing it.
Some of them later said that they didn't really understand what had happened, or didn't even believe it had happened, until they saw the very excellent nearly-identical coverage which was provided by all the major networks (plus Fox and CNN).
Almost Scandalous
Some deranged morons thought it was almost scandalous that the news lockdown coincided with an abrupt change in the story. Whereas reports aired on 9/11 included continuous references to bombs going off in the towers, and some reports even mentioned bombs but no planes (!), the reports we saw on 9/12 and continuously for next two weeks assured us that no bombs had ever been reported.
Hurting So Badly
We're lucky that nobody found out about the abrupt and illegal censorship until much later because the nation was already hurting so badly at the time, and suddenly finding out that we were now living in a totalitarian dictatorship would not have made many of us feel very much better.
Public Confusion
We're especially fortunate that the news lockdown was so effective because otherwise great national heroes such as Keith Seffen and John Gross would have had much more trouble convincing the confused public that a gravity-driven collapse had sent tons of microscopic debris thousands of feet straight up in the air.
The public confusion clearly reflected the obvious fact that nobody had ever seen the force of gravity applied in an upward manner.
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| Mete Sozen loved you. |
A Very Bogus Simulation
At Purdue University, Professor Mete Sozen led a very expensive project which produced a video of a "simulation" of a an airplane crashing into a building. The building was allegedly modeled after the doomed towers, and the airplane was allegedly modeled after a jumbo jet.
The video is fascinating from several angles. First, as the narrator explains, Mete Sozen's team
created a scaled 767 jetliner, an aircraft with a weight of 141 tons, including ten thousand gallons of fuel. To model what this fuel load would do upon collision, Purdue launched fluid-filled aluminum cans to simulate an airplane wing impacting a steel column. A thermal camera captured the impact and fluid behavior.The problem here is a simple one. A fluid-filled aluminum can is very different from an air-filled fuselage or even an air-and-fuel-filled wing. Because the can is full of liquid and liquids cannot be compressed, the can cannot collapse. But the fuselage contains mostly air, and the wings contain at least some air, and since air can be compressed, the fuselage and the wings can collapse, as indeed they must. Surely air is no match for steel and concrete.
Furthermore, an aluminum can is shaped like a bullet. And when it is launched end-first, as in the simulation, it presents a small cross-section compared to its volume. But the wing of an airplane is shaped much differently, and it presents a large cross-section, necessary for lift but hardly fit for puncturing steel and concrete buildings.
It is impossible to believe that Mete Sozen, with all his experience in Structural Engineering, was unaware of these important differences.
Magical Engines
Next, the simulation only hints at the fate of the plane's engines, but the hint is that they disappeared on impact. This is odd and therefore remarkable because the engines are the heaviest and most robust of all the plane's parts, and they seem to have disappeared, as if by magic. But the floors of the animated building are even more magical than the engines of the animated plane.
Magical Floors
The floors in the towers were concrete pads, four to six inches thick, and a plane crashing into a tower would have encountered the edges of at least five or six floors once it smashed through the wall of the tower (if it could even do that much).
Furthermore, whereas the walls were relatively thin (compared to the size of the building), the floors extended the entire length and width of the building, so they couldn't crumple. They would have provided approximately infinite resistance to an incoming plane, which is almost certainly why, in the simulation, the floors disappear as soon as the plane arrives!
But that's not quite right either because the simulation shows the collision from multiple angles. From some angles, there are no floors at all; just columns and beams. But there's another angle which shows the plane ripping through a floor like a plow in a farmer's field.
You Didn't Pay Enough Attention
If you wonder how a hollow aluminum tube could tear through an acre of solid concrete, you didn't pay enough attention to the introduction, in which it was carefully explained that this is a very accurate science-based simulation, produced at considerable expense by the finest engineers Purdue University could buy.
And if you wonder how such a flawed animation could have made it through peer-review, you have probably forgotten that no such review would have been possible because Mete Sozen had no peers.
But as he "explained" in the video:
I can tell you, quite honestly, that we didn't fudge. The broken columns in the facade, by calculation, coincide almost exactly with those that were broken, so that our model was correct ...Frankly, I can tell you that whenever somebody says "quite honestly", I know the previous statement was a lie, and I suspect the next one will be too. I'm sincere when I say that, by the way.
You see, we're going to have a source of heat here that covers almost the entire core. And that starts heating the columns, which are unprotected. There is no insulation on them. And it starts heating the beams. See, the beams in a manner of speaking, provide restraint at the edges of the columns, which are loaded axially, in the vertical direction.
So it takes fuel and oxygen coming in, of course, to add the fire. The temperature here could have reached beyond 1200 degrees Fahrenheit, and that doesn't melt the steel; it softens it.
And that softening makes the restraints on the columns not as effective, and the column itself becomes soft. So it bends to one side, and of course there is a vertical load on it. That takes care of it. So it goes away, and that's what happened in that building.
It's also obvious that the correctness of such a model cannot be demonstrated by a single, simple metric, such as whether the columns that were broken in the model "coincide almost exactly" with the columns that were broken in an actual tower. And Mete Sozen's assertion to the contrary is criminally insane, unless it's insanely criminal.
Furthermore, unless I'm mistaken, there's a significant difference between a fire which "could have reached beyond 1200 degrees" and a fire which actually did so, is there not? My toaster-oven "could have reached beyond 1200 degrees" before I even turned it on. It didn't, but it could have. Or am I merely quibbling over the most consequential detail here?
Finally, and to the main point: Of course they didn't fudge! We can see this from Mete Sozen's conclusion. The steel goes away! Now we know what happened in that building! It wasn't so very complicated after all. The steel just went away!
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| "Purdue launched fluid-filled aluminum cans
to simulate an airplane wing impacting a steel column." And what if an airplane wing and a fluid-filled aluminum can are very different? Don't ask that question! |
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| In this frame, the plane slices through the
building, which offers no resistance whatsoever. This obvious nonsense matches some of the most obvious nonsense we saw on the day of the attacks. |
 |
| In this frame, we see what appears to be a
floor just below the crash level, but no hint of any other floors. An actual plane crashing into an actual tower would have encountered at least 5 or 6 solid concrete floors. |
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| This frame shows a phantom plane flying into
a phantom building. The steel frame of the building appears to be roughly half as wide as the building itself. This is how we know we can rely on the accuracy of the simulation. Well, that and the fact that the simulation doesn't show the core of the tower, where the structural strength was concentrated. Oh well. At least they spent a lot of money. |
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| In this frame we see columns and beams breaking
apart. No floors. No core. No plane. Oh well. |
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| In this frame, we see the hollow aluminum fuselage
plowing through the solid concrete floor. This sequence changed the face of civil engineering and the future of materials science because nothing of the sort has yet been shown to be possible except in computerized simulations. |
It's unfortunate that Mete Sozen is no longer with us. He would have looked good in one of these:
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| The traditional American method. |
 |
| The traditional French method. |
No Inappropriate Information
The vital tasks performed by national heroes such as Keith Seffen, John Gross, Mete Sozen, and Ross Corotis, would have been much more difficult if the news reports aired on the day of the attacks had not been so quickly supplanted by very different reports telling a very different story.
And the tasks performed by these mostly-unsung heroes were very difficult already, so we're lucky that no inappropriate information came along which could have made their service to our country even more challenging than it already was.
Listen: Bill Nelson / Be Bop Deluxe: Panic In The
World
Above our heads, in fiery red,
The clouds, they bled like open wounds across the sky ...
The wings of many nations, falling, burning, turning,
Trying oh, so hard to die ...
Notes:
1: Theoretical physics, by the way, is on its way to becoming
the "Mystery Religion" of our times, having been dominated
for the past 100 years by men who claim to understand things
they know nothing about. ↑
2: It is also difficult to imagine how any member of a "Peace
Group" could fail to recognize that the pretext for all
our current wars is entirely bogus, unless the "Peace Group"
itself were also entirely bogus. ↑
4: But I was only kidding. That dude could have been on the
sidebar here just for that one album but now look what he's
done! I can't even listen to his best stuff anymore and
I'm sure that makes a big difference to him. ↑
6: Of course I'm mentioning this in the hope that you won't
read that mess yourself. You're probably confused enough
already.
As an odd aside: The piece in question was reviewed on the 9/11-Lie site "Screw Loose Change", where one of Pat Curley's resident geniuses described it as "factual yet deranged."
It was one of the most generous compliments this cold clown has ever received, and of course the phrase couldn't have inspired anything you see on this site. ↑
As an odd aside: The piece in question was reviewed on the 9/11-Lie site "Screw Loose Change", where one of Pat Curley's resident geniuses described it as "factual yet deranged."
It was one of the most generous compliments this cold clown has ever received, and of course the phrase couldn't have inspired anything you see on this site. ↑
8: This restriction was not reported by any of the major networks
(much less Fox or CNN) but it came to light when Bonnie
Faulkner accidentally asked the wrong question of a guest
she shouldn't have been interviewing in the first place.
↑
